In the days after a loss, what helps most often isn't the grand gesture — it's a meal on the porch, a walk with the dog, someone who turns up and asks what's needed. If you'd like to do something, below are a few of the things that would actually be useful.

Don't worry about whether you're close enough, or whether someone else has it covered. Offer what you can. [Family member's first name] is helping coordinate, and will reach out only when there's a fit.

And if you'd rather just be present — call, text, drop in for ten minutes, send a postcard. Quiet company is help, too.